Toilent produces literary and artistic masterpieces written upon toilet paper for an elite audience. All of our luxury products are written by a highly capable artist utilizing an antique Royal brand typewriter. With Toilent, it will always be a royal flush! Our Sheets & S*** line of products include original poetry, song lyrics (melodies available upon request), paintings, drawings, aphorisms, literary criticism, philosophical musings, potential military applications, and high quality Toilent brand humoür. Set sail on this journey with us today!
Each roll costs a small investment into the artist’s career, with a minimum required payment of $100,000 per roll. Each roll will be entirely original and conceived and created within a single day. The artist and founder of Toilent, Thomas Christopher Elliott (AKA Prince Charmin’) can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org. His portfolio is available at thomaschristopherelliott.com. Payments may be made via Zelle, Venmo, wire transfer, check, or cold hard cash (#ToilentGreen.)
We create all Toilent products with only the finest materials to complement the immaterial force that the artist imbues them with through the proprietary methods that we have developed through time, study, accidents, and dedication. This extends to the paintings that we will contain within each roll, beyond the logo seal. Each roll will contain at least one original painting at the very end, which adds about six days to the process to ensure proper layering and drying prior to sealing the roll and preparing it for delivery. It’s the Toilent equivalent of a “cherry on top.”