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Toilent produces literary and artistic masterpieces written upon toilet paper for an elite audience. All of our luxury products are written by a highly capable artist utilizing an antique Royal brand typewriter. With Toilent, it will always be a royal flush! Our Sheets & S*** line of products include original poetry, song lyrics (melodies available upon request), paintings, drawings, aphorisms, literary criticism, philosophical musings, and high quality Toilent brand humoür. Set sail on this journey with us today!

Each roll costs a small investment into the artist’s career, with a minimum required payment of $100,000 per roll. Each roll will be entirely original and conceived and created within a single day. The artist and founder of Toilent, Thomas Christopher Elliott (AKA Prince Charmin’) can be contacted at His portfolio is available at Payments may be made via Zelle, Venmo (@telliot), wire transfer, check, or cold hard cash (#ToilentGreen.)

We create all Toilent products with only the finest materials to complement the immaterial force that the artist imbues them with through the proprietary methods that we have developed through time, study, accidents, and dedication. This extends to the paintings that we will contain within each roll, beyond the logo seal. Each roll will contain at least one original painting at the very end. It’s the Toilent equivalent of a “cherry on top.”

All proceeds earned through the Toilent program will be (re)invested into the artist’s practice, including the purchase of supplies, publication and exhibition costs, living expenses, as well as tuition (if accepted into an mfa program) and prior student debt payments. Additionally, 10% of each purchase will be donated to organizations providing financial and other forms of support to emerging artists from diverse backgrounds, such as Artist|Trust and Hugo House. Toilent is open to any suggestions on additional organizations that any purchaser might request.

Toilent is real. The artist considers this to be beautiful, performance art, creative self promotion, and “deep sea fishing” for a patron who might wish to support an ambitious man’s arts practice. The ultimate vision is to write a stellar novel, building upon the foundations that I have developed for a collection titled A Dance of Light and Shadows (See.) There’s also the visual arts vision: experimenting at the intersection of painting and darkroom photography. The details are available upon request. One must develop productive methods of regulating and sustaining one’s creative energies; alternating between writing and additional forms ensures that one avoids burnout while generating a synergistic workflow.